Have you ever had that feeling that you are just never going to move forward? Sometimes we can all feel trapped.
I had that feeling for quite a while until about two and a half years ago when I was finally getting settled here in Alberta. I was in the youth ministry, I had a solid career (at least I thought so at the time), and my wife and daughter had just moved here (remember that I came first to make sure it was a good fit).
Then they changed directions in the company I was working for. Suddenly I found myself with an $8,000 moving bill, a house so full of stuff that we couldn’t move around, my family around me, AND NO JOB! I certainly questioned God at that time.
Then I started working at the ministry to the homeless that I’m with now. At first, I kept looking over my shoulder and wondering if this was all going to fall apart too. Even now, I find myself wondering if this is my final destination. Before Bible college, I thought I would just be a youth pastor for the rest of my life. That has obviously changed as most of you know I’ve resigned my position as a youth pastor, mostly due to great success in my career.
I’m giving this brief history to remind myself that life is full of ebbs and flows. Sometime you soar, sometimes you feel you are sinking…but remember Deuteronomy 31:8, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
The truth is that we will never reach a “final” destination until we are in the everlasting. We have to remember that God sees all that is ahead of us (even when we can’t fathom it). Enjoy the time you have, enjoy the people that love you, enjoy the journey. Don’t get too bogged down by the unknown, the uncertainty, or the unbelievable. Trust God that He will be with you until that final destination.
So, it’s been a while since I wrote the post “A Proper Ratio.” I feel that I am doing a better job of spending adequate time in God’s Word and prayer but so far, nothing dynamic has happened. I have not seen healings in the streets. I have not seen gold dust on any faces. I haven’t even seen someone come to know Christ for the first time. I have been much more aware of opportunities to pray with people and have been involved in some very meaningful, Christ-centered conversations because of that awareness. I am still very serious about what I wrote (concerning an unusual life and expecting miracles and such) and very eager to see that happen. For now, I’m trying to be comfortable with knowing God CAN do amazing things both in me and around me, but He may CHOOSE to use ordinary things. I do believe God is still very active around us at all times and IT’S UP TO US TO BE AWARE ENOUGH THAT WE SEE THEM. First Corinthians 12:6 tells us “There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.” (NIV) Let this encourage you to look for God’s working around you, even if it doesn’t appear to be anything exceptional.
On another note, my final day as Pastor David was this past Sunday. I do still hold my credentials but will be attending a new church simply as David, a regular Christian hoping to just rest a while. My hope is that I will be able to allow God to minister to me without the pressures of preparing something for others all the time. I left the church on very good terms and plan to stay in touch with many of my Christian friends from New Life (I was there a little over two years). I am believing that this will give me the time I need to devote more efforts into getting this book published. I will be posting more now and researching different avenues as I still believe very much that Becoming Ever Mindful will be on book shelves soon. Please keep this in your prayers!