If you really want freedom, you first have to forgive yourself. Seems simple but hard to do. You see, God has the power to literally remove your sin from His mind (see Isaiah 44:22, Psalm 103:12, and 1 John 1:9 to name a few).
For some reason we can’t do that and the residue of past failures seems to stick with us forever. The incapability of truly forgiving ourselves hangs like a boulder we carry around everywhere we go. (I believe this was the “thorn in my flesh” that Paul talks of in the New Testament.)
So what do we do about it? 1)Repent 2)Make amends (if possible) 3)Plan to change. If you’ve done those things, STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. The Greek word for “no record” is logizomai (logEzomI), which means not to make a conclusion based on your own opinion.
God says you’re forgiven. That should be enough to give you freedom.